12 Best Books for New Parents Actually Worth Reading

Being a parent is HARD. It’s a steep learning curve from the newborn phase to the “Terrible Twos” and beyond. As a new parent, you are going to be overwhelmed because no one taught us anything about parenting in school! They taught us what to do to NOT become a parent ;).

[Related Post: “10 Toddler Discipline Methods for Happier Kids and Happier Parents“]

With so many parenting “hacks” and a huge list of parenting book recommendations…I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. I wanted to be prepared, so I did what I knew best – research and read. I dug through the sea of information so YOU DON’T HAVE TO.

Parenting and getting to know your child may seem second nature to some, but in practice, you might be surprised to learn about some of the misconceptions the greater population have about babies and toddlers. I know I was.

Our parents’ generation didn’t have the research or the information that we have available to us today. Let me help you filter through the noise, and equip you with the knowledge needed to tackle the toughest of tantrums.

Taking this time to read a worthwhile parenting book will help us break generational trauma, to learn about ourselves as people, and to truly get to know our children for their wonderful, unique, selves!

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The recommendations below are parenting books that will help you learn about:

• your newborn and baby’s sleep routine, sleep regressions, habits and best practices from day 1.
• attachment parenting and relationship building from day 1.
• gentle parenting with positive parenting solutions – no yelling and time-outs!
• importance of the role of the parent in the child’s early years. How to spend quality vs. quantity time bonding with your child.
• early childhood brain development, how language and communication is developed and learned by age 3 and beyond.
• Montessori philosophy, how to integrate Montessori into your home.

If any of these above topics spark an interest in you as a new (or seasoned) parent, please scroll below for my best parenting books recommendations. All of these books have helped my journey to become a more mindful parent.

I can assure you I have read these books (and many more) cover to cover to find you the best recommendations in this huge pile of “best parenting book” options. You’ll find some I recommend to read “cover to cover” and some serve best as a “guide/reference” for when you need certain questions answered quickly. I recommend that you read these books as early as when you are expecting, or before the age of 3.

For those who want the TLDR; I will be providing a brief point of my learnings under each title so you can really assess if this book answers your burning questions.

If you prefer to LISTEN to these books, you can sign up for Audible membership.

If you are just looking to gift new expecting parents a book or two, these are also great options!

Books on Preparing for Newborn to Toddlerhood

[Guide/Reference] Emily Oster – “Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong–and What You Really Need to Know“

• Can I eat Sushi during pregnancy? What kinds of cheese can I eat during pregnancy? What are the real risks of giving birth past 35, or 40? How accurate are genetic tests? Did you know that you shouldn’t change your cat’s litter when you are pregnant?
• Emily Oster is a Harvard educated economist, who currently teaches at Brown University. She uses academic research to support her learnings and answers, and debunks some of the outdated research or why certain conclusions have come to become popular knowledge over time. This book is EVIDENCE based, and it’s NOT medical advice. You shouldn’t expect this book to tell you how much or what to do during pregnancy.
• A huge caveat is that research on pregnant women is difficult to do in itself, and much of the information she covers don’t have definitive answers. Your healthcare professional will be a better resource if you’re looking for what to do and what the CURRENT guidelines are on pregnancy.
• I personally felt like I gained some interesting insight and learned a few points I never even knew to consider during pregnancy.

[Guide/Reference] Emily Oster – “Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool“

• This follow up book from Emily Oster is all about the baby after birth until toddlerhood and just before kindergarten. I enjoyed this book more than the Expecting Better (above) since it was even better written and better organized.
• I like how behind each chapter there is a “The Bottom Line” that summarizes the key questions and answers them for those that want the quick and dirty key points.
• I learned a lot just from the first chapter – “The First Three Days” and used this knowledge to write my birth plan. For example, I opted OUT of the antibiotics eye ointment because I learned that it’s not necessary for me. All pregnant women get tested for STIs now, and if you know you’re not at risk, then antibiotics are unnecessary.
• Overall, I would say this book packs a real punch on some real topics you’d want to know like: breastfeeding difficulties, sleep training schools of thought, effect of mothers taking extended maternity leaves during infancy, watching TV, potty training and toddler discipline. I enjoyed the personal commentaries and stories from a working mom of two little ones, backed with real data.
• Note again, same as her previous book mentioned above, that scientific research is constant evolving and improving, and the results are not definitive. If you are expecting a definitive you are good for doing X, or this makes you a bad parent, then this is NOT the book for you. This book gives you the tools and facts to think about the decisions you want to make for your own family.
• You can get all 3 of Emily Oster’s books in a set here.

[Cover to Cover] Alexis Dubief – “Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents“

• I put this as a cover to cover read, but in this book’s preface, it literally acknowledges that parents are notoriously short on time, and you’re already a “Level 6 Sleep Wizard”, then use the table of contents and skip to the relevant chapters. I was a first time expecting mom when I came across this book, so if you are too, read it in full.
• This is the book I recommend ALL of my friends to read when they are preparing to become a parent. Sleep is SO important. You will NEED to prepare for this aspect of your new life. It begins with knowing what sleep associations are, how long newborn and baby’s sleep cycles are, and how you can build a great routine and habit from DAY ONE.
• Read this BEFORE your baby comes. I literally took notes. You will sleep again, but habits take time to build for you and your baby! You have to know WHAT “Baby Sleep Power Tools” to use, WHEN and HOW to use it, and what stage of your babies life (newborn, 4-6 months, 6-12 months, or toddler to preschooler) to use it.
• You need to have realistic expectations. This means you need to understand WHEN your baby can actually handle a true “routine” versus when you need to survive and know how to handle a sleep crisis.
• I did NOT sleep train my daughter, and she never had to “Cry It Out”. This book helped me achieve that. However, it gives you tools to sleep train if that’s what you are looking to do. If you plan on sleep training or have sleep trained your child, no judgements here. This book will help you prepare for that. It has helpful tables and cartoons that illustrate how to execute some of these methods. Parents need sleep, I get it. More posts to come around this point later.
• check out Precious Little Sleep Official Website

[Guide/Reference] Harvey Karp – “The Happiest Baby on the Block; Fully Revised and Updated Second Edition: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer“

• Can you tell I was anxious about losing sleep? I was someone who needed her 8 hours of sleep to function, and I knew I cannot think straight with a couple hours of low quality sleep. This is why you should reference this book before your baby comes.
• This book is another great reference on specifically WHAT TO DO (5 S’s: swaddle, side-stomach position, shush, swing, and suck) to calm your newborn when she is crying. It also tells you important information on WHY your newborn might be crying.
• I learned about the whole idea of a “fourth trimester” after birth, and how we can mimic the environment to give our newborn a smooth transition out of the womb.
• For my daughter, I purchased and used Dr. Karp’s Snoo Smart Sleeper Bassinet, and it gave me such a peace of mind to know that I was doing all that I could to provide that “womb-like” environment during her fourth trimester.
• I referenced the “Happiest Baby: Super-Soothing White Noise“ Spotify playlist in my post “6 Best Apps for New Moms You Need to Download“. You’d be surprised how loud and noisy your baby likes it when they are fussy.

[Guide/Reference] Xaviera Plas-Plooij – “The Wonder Weeks: A Stress-Free Guide to Your Baby’s Behavior“

• Have you been hearing parents referring to “leaps” and wondering what they mean by that? This book is the ultimate (and magical) guide to your baby’s developmental milestones. Any time there is a “big change” in the way your baby perceives the world, it will come with learning new sets of skills, and new behavioral changes. This often leads to fussy times.
• This book is divided into “Your Baby’s 10 Great Fussy Phases” from Week 0 to 84 Weeks (about 20 months). There is a chart that tells you when your baby may be fussier than before, when a “stormy” period is likely to occur, and when your baby will be the sunshine of your life. I’d say majority of the leaps were quite accurate.
• I learned HOW my baby was perceiving the world and WHAT she was thinking about she was going through these big changes. It’s so hard being a new mom and not being able to read minds! This book really helped me MENTALLY prepare for what’s to come. It has plenty of relatable real moms’ commentary throughout the different weeks so you know you’re not alone in this parenting journey.
• There is an app version of this book! You can check out my post “6 Best Apps for New Moms You Need to Download“ to find out more.

Books on Gentle Parenting, Positive Parenting and Attachment Parenting

[Cover to Cover] Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell – “Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore“

• If you are wondering why your child needs you constantly and cannot play by themselves, or explore without your supervision, you should check out this book. You will learn how parents can be “Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind” to build the bond for trust, build true self-esteem, and build the moral compass to differentiate between right and wrong. You will learn how to tune in to your child’s needs, provide a safe space, and “Be-With” your child as parents first–not as friends (and why this is important).
• I learned the “Circle of Security” concept from this book, and it’s SO eye-opening on learning how to attend to your child’s needs. It gave me a whole new perspective on WHY my baby was fussing or being needy. I learned about how intuitive your baby is from DAY ONE and how they are true mind readers, being able to “read between the lines“.
• Secure attachment is how your child will feel safe and confident to become a truly independent person on their own. It is autonomy and connection. You will rest with the confidence that they are secure in themselves as people AND in your relationship as loving parents (even if you have to make some unpopular decisions).
• Another important part of this book is about learning about the parenting style you grew up with. Most parents will repeat the same approach their parents used with them. A lot of this results in generational trauma that keeps getting passed down. If you don’t know what your parenting style is, or how it affects your child, this is extremely important for you to learn. I grew up in an authoritarian household. I do not intend to repeat the same for my children. More on this in other posts to come.
• I HIGHLY recommend this book for everyone to read and re-read as their baby grows and blossoms into their own little person.
• Check out the author’s website Circle of Security here.

[Cover to Cover] Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson – “No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind“

• This book begins with reclaiming the word “discipline“. I think many of us think of disciplining as giving punishments, or giving some sort of negative consequence. However, it goes on to clarify that from its inception in the English language, “discipline” has meant “to teach“. The root of the word “disciple” means “student,” “pupil,” and “learner.” Punishment might shut down a behavior in the short term, but teaching offers skills that lasts a lifetime.
• If you are looking for a book to help teach your child to cooperate and do the right thing, to develop self-control and a moral compass (even when authority figures aren’t around), this is it. This book really focuses on long term effects of how effective discipline can shape the brain that will help your child make better decisions and handle themselves well into the future.
• You will find some cartoon strips that illustrate relatable experiences with your toddler, and well-explained information around how experiences shape the brain architecture. It taught me a lot about brain neuroplasticity and development.
• I found it so interesting how our words and teachings affect the different areas of the brain for our toddler. I learned how to encourage my daughter to feel her feelings, how to effectively repair ruptures in our relationship, and how effective discipline depends ultimately on building that loving and respectful relationship between us.

[Cover to Cover] Janet Lansbury – “Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting“

• Are you struggling with yelling, time-outs, or just not knowing what to do when your toddler starts throwing tantrums or telling you “no!” for the 10th time? This book is a wonderful guide to understanding your baby and toddler’s psychology. You will learn about how perceptive your baby is from day 1, and what to do to build the bond that will help your child overcome their difficult emotions as they grow up.
• A lot of our frustration comes from NOT having the right age-appropriate expectations for our child when they behave a certain way. Naturally, we don’t want to hear crying or acknowledge any ridiculous or irrational feelings, but it’s such an important thing to do for our little human. Acknowledgment isn’t agreeing with or condoning our child’s actions; it’s validating the feelings behind them. It accepts them for who they are, and sends them the affirming message that they are lovable. I noted this down and I learned so many ways to do exactly HOW to do it with this book.
• I used to think that being a gentle parent meant you just let you child do whatever they wanted, and you only used “nice” words as a parent, but that is absolutely a misconception. Gentle parenting is NOT permissive parenting. Discipline is a must. There will be natural consequences and NOT parent-enforced consequences like time-outs.
• Janet Lansbury refers a lot to her mentor Magda Gerber and her book: Magda Gerber and Allison Johnson – “Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child’s Natural Abilities — From the Very Start“. She is a huge proponent of RIE parenting which focuses on the awareness of our babies as unique, independent people and deserves to be treated with respect from day 1.
• Check out Janet Lansbury’s website here.

[Guide/Resource] Janet Lansbury – “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame“

• This is a collection of Janet’s answers to parents’ commonly asked questions to her and some of the more quick-tip type solutions for her readers. If you are short on time and want the quick and dirty version of what you are looking for, skip through to the table of contents of this book and find the question you are looking for and read that chapter.
• This book gives good examples of real life problems, and even some scripts on what to say and what to do when certain difficult toddler tantrum or scenarios come up.
• I learned not to address myself in third person to my child (Example: “Can you give this to mommy?”), and to be succinct when my toddler does something out of line: “I will not let you ____” with a natural consequence instead of lecturing my toddler with a long scenario.

[Cover to Cover] Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté – “Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers“

• Parents are bombarded on what they SHOULD do, and this book is not that. This book focuses on WHO the parents need to be for their children. This means not just going through the motions of what a model parent does, or just saying the right things.
• It helps you with a deeper understanding of the child, of child development and what impediments stand in the way today for the healthy development of our kids. This understanding will hopefully build the inner wisdom and intuition you need for YOUR unique child, which is the key to successful parenting.
• If you are a parent worried about how your kids will be influenced by their friends at school or if they will get “corrupted” by society, this is a great book to have on your bookshelf. I think it works really well with the other books I’ve recommended above to build on that foundation of a inner moral compass.
• While this book may seem miles away for a parent who has a newborn in their arm, I’d still highly recommend you to give this a good read because many of the attachment principles in this book builds over time. It truly TAKES TIME and effort to have an amazing relationship with your child. This book gives you some tangible tools and strategies to build closeness and long term attachment with your child.
• The concepts in this book are not rocket science. It seems logical and second nature when you read it, but in practice, it isn’t. Start early, and your genuine loving and secure foundation will help you build that intuition so you won’t have to worry about losing your child to their peers or societal pressures.
• Dr. Gabor Mate graduated from the University of British Columbia (UBC) and has worked locally in Vancouver, B.C., now renown internationally. I really enjoyed his other books and lectures on childhood development, trauma and its impacts on the physical body in relation to addictions and other conditions. I highly recommend you to check out his other titles, as well.
• You can watch Dr. Gabor Mate’s lecture on “Hold On to Your Kids” here.

Books on Montessori and Early Childhood Brain Development

[Cover to Cover] Paula Polk Lillard – “Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three“

• If you only read one book on Montessori, read this one. I was intrigued because of Maria Montessori’s story on her work with children in city asylums in Rome and how she turned their life around. She really focused on observing the children in their natural habitats, and ultimately focused on honing in on building independence as the aim of education.
• This book divides the development of the 5 senses and links it to the different developmental periods of the child from newborn to 3 years old. It was so helpful to see what was age appropriate to teach at these different stages.
• I don’t implement a full Montessori style life in my home, but I do try largely to follow her principles in creating children-led spaces that allow for freedom of play, exploration and learning. For example, I purchased this bookshelf made by TidyBooks that allow the book covers to be displayed and easily taken out by my daughter herself.
• I ensured from a young age, my daughter and I established “a place for everything and everything in its place“. She values the independence of knowing where something is, and how to put it back.
• I learned a lot about providing the respect for play, in which Montessori famously said “play is the work of the child,” and not disrupting their play time of intense concentration. This point was crucial in my understanding and choice to STAY AWAY from flashy and noisy plastic toys. My daughter has developed a strong sense of focus and attention from a young age, and is able to play independently on whatever she is interested in.
• If you value practical life skills like house work and personal care, then I would highly recommend you look into Montessori teachings. I purchased a learning tower that doubles as a table (similar ones from Coco Village here) for my daughter when she turned 15 months. From about 18 months onwards, she was consistently climbing into the learning tower by herself and helping me prepare dinner, make coffee, or just watch me bake cookies.

[Cover to Cover] Dana Suskind – “Thirty Million Words: Building a Child’s Brain“

• If you’ve wondered why some kids have better communication skills or just able to say more words than their peers, this is the book for you. This book goes hand in hand with many of my other book recommendations on this list linking to nurturing your child’s developing brain.
• This “Thirty Million Words” Gap Study demonstrated that the language development in the first three years of a child’s life is critical to their lifelong success in school and in life. The same gap between a child at age 3 is present at age 18 when they are getting ready for university, with traditional schooling neither increasing or decreasing this gap.
• There is a common misconception that infants don’t understand you, or the way you talk to your baby doesn’t matter until they can talk back. Dr. Suskind’s work on cochlear implantation helped her discover the important link between brain development and language from birth. She alludes that by the end of age 3, the human brain has completed about 85% of its physical growth (which is a significant part of the foundation for all thinking and learning). What we do as parents to nurture this brain development largely comes from giving sounds meaning.
• This book uses lots of great scientific research that backs up the importance of speaking to your baby early and often, and with many words. It builds a case that no matter what your socioeconomic status is, every child, from every home, can have a chance to fulfill his or her highest potentials by living in a world rich with words.
• If you’ve enjoyed Emily Oster’s book recommendations above, this one is very similar in style. I took many of her words to heart and I truly believe this book helped me be more cognizant to speak more and more often to my daughter. My daughter is turning 2 by the end of October, and she has been communicating with us with three to four word phrases, and able to repeat most words we say by this point.
• Being able to communicate with your child reduces a LOT of friction and frustration, so please do yourself and your child a huge favor and start talking!!
• You can watch the video on Dr. Dana Suskind’s Harper Lecture: “What Difference Do 30 Million Words Make?” here.

Books For New Mothers

Jessica Urlichs Poetry Books **Great Gift for Your Mom Friend!

• Two of my favorites from Jessica are: “From One Mom to a Mother: Poetry & Momisms” and “All I See is You: Poetry & Proses for a Mothers Heart“.
• I will warn you: these are serious tear jerkers. I read the poem “All I See Is You” in the middle of the night (after a night feed) from an instagram post and I was balling my eyes out. All the moms I’ve sent it to have shed a few tears reading it.
• Jessica’s writing is SO real and she writes as if she lives in your head. Her journey in motherhood is so relatable and it helps you feel like you aren’t alone in this. She helps you realize that these difficult moments are fleeting and you will come to miss all of it – the good, the bad, the sad. I know I appreciate all those little moments with my daughter more because of her writing.
• check out Jessica’s website.

Commonly Recommended Books That I DO NOT Recommend

• Heidi Murkoff – “What to Expect When You’re Expecting“
• Heidi Murkoff – “What to Expect the First Year“
• Ann Douglas – “The Mother Of All Pregnancy Books 3rd Edition“

I will just leave this here – all of these titles above have TOO MUCH information, and it makes a new parent more anxious than prepared. The problem with trying to cover ALL of the topics on what to expect as a parent is that there are SO many things you can expect (doesn’t mean it will happen), and it will OVERWHELM you. The points these authors make are vague and subjective, and they don’t dive into anything concrete. Some are out of date, and not specific to where you are in the world. Save yourself the money…and DON’T gift these titles!

This post was all about the best parenting books for new parents. These books will help you feel more confident as a new parent and provide you with tangible solutions to the many questions you will have.

If you’ve been given a book on my do not recommend list, exchange it for one that I do recommend and you’re set. Parenting is a marathon and not a race. Trying to know everything and anything all at once is an impossible task.

Prepare yourself, but also give yourself the space to face a few obstacles then look for the specific answers you need.

If you have read any of the titles above and have thoughts, or if you have suggestions to add to my reading list, please drop a comment below.

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